Notable Quotations on Marriage

A Working Definition of Marriage:

A mutually exclusive sexual, emotional and spiritual relationship between one man and one woman; protected by a covenant, until death do them part; ordained by God to portray His triune nature and picture His love for His people; to populate eternity; for protection; for progress in sanctification; and for partnership in the work given by God.

Introduction to a Wedding Ceremony c.1679

DEARLY beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this Congregation, to join together this man and this woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honourable estate, instituted of God in the time of man's innocency, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church; which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence, and first miracle that he wrought, in Cana of Galilee; and is commended of Saint Paul to be honourable among all men: and therefore is not by any to be enterprised, nor taken in hand, unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly, to satisfy men's carnal lusts and appetites, like brute beasts that have no understanding; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God; duly considering the causes for which Matrimony was ordained.
First, It was ordained for the procreation of children, to be brought up in the fear and nurture of the Lord, and to the praise of his holy Name.

Secondly, It was ordained for a remedy against sin, and to avoid fornication; that such persons as have not the gift of continency might marry, and keep themselves undefiled members of Christ's body.

Thirdly, It was ordained for the mutual society, help, and comfort, that the one ought to have of the other, both in prosperity and adversity. Into which holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined.

Therefore, if any man can shew any just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace.

NOTE: Recently the Episcopal Church in the United States has decided to scrap the terms "husband" and "wife" from its marital liturgy in its latest move to find favor with the LGBT community. Phrases related to "procreation" will also be deleted, as they may offend those who do not identify as heterosexual.

University of Notre Dame English professor Roy Scranton recently wrote an article for the New York Times that began with this remarkable paragraph:

“I cried two times when my daughter was born. First for joy, when after 27 hours of labor the little feral being we’d made came yowling into the world, and the second for sorrow, holding the earth’s newest human and looking out the window with her at the rows of cars in the hospital parking lot, the strip mall across the street, the box stores and drive-throughs and drainage ditches and asphalt and waste fields that had once been oak groves. A world of extinction and catastrophe, a world in which harmony with nature had long been foreclosed. My partner and I had, in our selfishness, doomed our daughter to life on a dystopian planet, and I could see no way to shield her from the future.”

The 1937 letters were written during a three-week preaching tour in America. This was a difficult time for Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones. Elizabeth, his daughter, said years later that after that trip, he vowed never to be gone from Bethan that long again. The letters from 1939 were during World War II. The family had been evacuated to the countryside while he remained in London. His love and longing for Bethan comes through on every page. He was affectionate, aware, and attentive. He was specific and lavish in his adoration. Paragraphs like this one are common:

"Let us say just this much—thinking of you gives me endless happiness, and I am more certain than ever that there is no one in the world like you, not even approaching you, not in all the world…I have been thinking of eleven years ago tonight, when we went together to Covenant Gardens and there back to Dilyrs’s. I thought at that time, that I loved you, but I had to live with you for over 10 years to know you properly and so to love you truly. I know that I am deficient in many things and must at times disappoint you. That really grieves me, and I am trying to improve. But believe me, if you could see my heart you would be amazed at how great is my love. I hope you know, indeed I know that you know, in spite of all my failings. I can do nothing but say again that from the human standpoint I belong entirely to you."

Hope for Your Marriage (Paul David Tripp in What Did You Expect, pp 128-29)

“God knows how big our struggle is. He knows how deep the war inside us runs. He knows how weak and blind we all can be. He knows how fickle our hearts can be. He knows how easily we lose our way. So, to help our marriage he didn’t just give us a set of principles; no, he gave us himself.

Immanuel has invaded our marriage with an initiative of warrior grace. He is not standing outside your marriage, giving you principles to live by and judge you if you don’t. No, he has literally gotten inside your heart, so he can battle for you at the very place were the war for marriage takes place – your heart. He knows that you and your spouse are not perfect. He knows that sin will again and again get in the way of what a marriage can and should be. He knows that rules, principles, and perspectives are not enough. He knows that your marriage needs more than information; it needs transformation, so he has taken residence inside you. This means that he battles with the dark instincts of sin that are still within you, even when you don’t!

If you are God’s children, then your marriage isn’t just a union of two; it is more accurately a union of three. Think about this: the same Spirit that now lives inside of you, wife, also now lives in side your husband. His presence provides the best platform for marital unity and love that you could ever wish for. He brings you the wisdom and strength you need to be what you are supposed to be, and to do what you have been called to do in your marriage. And his sweetest gift, in an agenda of grace, is that he daily rescues you from you, which is just what you need but are unable to do for yourself.

Hope for your marriage is not to be found in your spouse. No, it is to be found in that third invisible Person, who has made himself part of your union. He has come to you so that you would have everything you will ever need to pull up what needs to be pulled and to plant what needs to be planted so that your marriage can be everything that God designed it to be.”

Answered Prayer (Pastor Tim Keller)

"If we knew what God knows, we would ask exactly for what He gives."